The Stygian Badge

Aaron Wolfson has studied the ancient and forbidden tomes. He knows the chthonian sigils of summoning. His pacts with the baleful beings of the dark have been sealed. What antediluvian horrors await those who come before the Shadow Lord? Will you risk you and your Pokemon’s very souls by venturing forth to battle his Dark Type Pokemon for the mere chance of obtaining his anathemic Stygian Badge? Will it be worth the cost?

The Rust Badge

Bob Lydon knows the riddle of steel. He has met with Brokkr and bathed in his forge fires. He knows the secret names of the giants that dwell deep within the earth. He is brother to the Wolf and his voice is that of thunder! Do you dare stand before the Lord of Steel? Will his hammer and Steel Type Pokemon smite you or will your name ring in the vaulted halls of Valhalla as you raise the Rust Badge!

The Honey Badge

Alex Pezzotta is no longer concerned with the frivolity of your human condition. Their metamorphosis is complete for they have left these long behind in favor of the singular focus of the hive. This malevolent monarch is the swarm made flesh. Their countless eyes see all who dare tread on their domain. Do you dare trespass and feign to grasp the Honey Badge? Or will you fall to the chitinous chorus of Alex’s Bug type Pokemon? Will your hollow victory even matter? For they are legion.

The Eternal Badge

Ryan Haines is supreme scaled sovereign of the draconian deities. They know the resting place of Jörmungandr and the hidden words from which to speak to wake him. The Four Kings are called to their court for they are the Nagaraja. They are the regal regent of your ruin. The Dragon King. What foolishness gives you the hollow faith to stand before the throne and challenge their eminence and they’re Dragon type Pokemon? Are you worthy of even being in their very presence? Do you think yourself the hero to claim their divine Eternal Badge or will you more likely find this story to be a tragedy? 

8-Bit Badge

Thomas Jackson has found the fundamental forces that drive the universe. He heard their clarion call and answered. He has stormed the mountains of Olympus upon his Promethean path to claim this power for his own. His breath is that of binary. The crack of the heavens is his call. You may glimpse his glory in the flash of the Manhattan project. Have you the fortitude to stand before the Voltaic Villain and his Electric type Pokémon and lay claim to the 8-bit Badge? Although, once you hear of his arrival it is already far too late. For his is the only Deus ex Machina of this tale.

Ozzy just wants to Rock. From his mountain home, he has seen the ages bridge from Precambrian to the now purely pathetic. Although, he does not lye sedimentary upon his basalt baroque throne. His igneous mind takes measure of your shale pursuits and finds them as a broken cord. For his heart beats a cadence of the tyrant kings. Do you hear his selenite song? Who are you to attempt to erode this melodious malachite monarch and his Rock type Pokemon in order to attempt to grasp his Relic Badge? Ore will your attempt fall flat? At least the slate will be clean and you can merely chalk it up as a metamorphic experience.

Josh Male just wants to get you a little wet. This maritime lover showers the competition with a flood from his aquatic arsenal. He is making it rain down pain on all those who come before his Neptunian throne. Are you truly foolish enough to believe you can soak it all up? Do you think you can make a splash and overcome his Water Type Pokemon in order to gain The Maelstrom Badge or will it be a washout?

Paul Bonnette is a debonair man of delectable demeanor. He has little time for the dalliances of lesser men for he is the sky and the fury. He is the aviary arbiter of your eradication. You think yourself worthy to stand before the erudite lord of the seven skies and his Flying type Pokemon? Will you bring him low and claim his prized Plumage Badge or will you be merely another roustabout unfit to clean his boots?

Carlin Rieger is planting a garden. A garden of pure devastation! She is watering it with the blood of her enemies. She is fertilizing the soil with their sorrow. Do you have what it takes to best her Grass Type Pokemon and gain the coveted Succulent Badge? Or will you and your Pokemon become merely more mulch?
 

Justin Miller is a conflagrate cosmopolitan man of the world. He visited Rome in 64 AD, and in London in September of 1666, and yes he was in Tokyo in 1923. Perhaps you have seen his work? He cares not for those that burn merely that they do. He is devastation wrought in human form. Do you deign to stand before the infernal incandescent imperator and his Fire type Pokemon? Do you care so little for your safety to attempt to grasp the cursed Brimstone Badge? Can you extinguish fury made flesh or will just be more kindling for his pyre.

Chris Anthony is a man on a schedule. He has a meeting with Helen from accounting already on the books. Maybe he can put you on his action items list? We may have to circle back at a later date. How about we table this for now? Looking at his google calendar it looks like he has a team building happy hour at chili’s during that time slot. Do you really believe your assets are even viable in your endeavor to defeat his Normal type Pokemon and add the coveted Basic Badge to your balance margin? Do you even Work hard? Do you even Play hard?